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12-Oct-2020 08:31

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Last month my husband and I (she/her) separated; it was my choice and I stayed in the home while he moved out.We were in couple’s therapy for several years leading up to the split and for the last part of the relationship we were living as roommates.Part of me thinks that no one is going to swipe right when they see this, due to the stigma and because I am only 29 years old (“so young, so much baggage! Should I be putting this on my profile and being transparent from the start?I guess I hope once people meet me in person (and see that I am not someone who consistently whines about their ex/failed past relationship) they will not think it is a big deal.This is just one fact about you, does it suddenly become the most important fact, a deal-breaking sort of fact? They are curious about you, this is information about you, a person they are starting to like, they’ll add it to the picture that is forming.I think you have to trust that the right matches for you are going to take it all in stride, they are going to try to reassure you in some way that you haven’t ruined things by telling them, they might ask you questions about it but it won’t feel like an interrogation, they’ll make it easy for you to talk more or not talk more and they’ll respect whatever level of detail you’re comfortable sharing.

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All my family and friends say I have been adjusting surprisingly well, but for me the relationship died a long time ago.

If I should put separated on my profile, any recommendations for wording (besides “Separated BUT WELL ADJUSTED” haha)?

The advice from my friends is split and the internet is no help.

For almost the last year, we were on opposite work schedules, so I only saw him 1-2x/week.

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I have no regrets about ending things and zero interest in getting back together.Not everyone needs to know every detail of your life the second they scroll by your pretty face on an app, but you actually want the people who would be shook by the idea of you being not-quite-fully-divorced or who are judgmental about divorce to self-select out of your personal dating pool.

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