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I think we’ve all done it for one reason or another, but I’m here to tell you that it’s not big and it’s not clever. Ghosting is the new fangled term for an old trend of avoidance in the dating world and it really is a shame that this has to happen but alas, here we are. It doesn’t matter that you’ve been seeing each other on the reg because you haven’t say down and had “the talk” yet, therefore you aren’t official, so you’re pretty much in relationship limbo – a state of commitment confusion that’s ignored because, well, it’s the honeymoon period and you’re having far too much fun to focus on the particulars. You aren’t officially boyfriend and girlfriend so if one (or the other for that matter) decides that they just aren’t that into you, rather than “breaking up” or having the balls to say it, they simply cut you out of their life. When the texts, the meet ups, the reciprocal romance and the phone calls suddenly diminish into thin air, chances are you’ve been ghosted. When that bond becomes broken, feelings get hurt and the guard you’ve worked so hard to drop slowly starts to work it’s way up again.Think of a time when you’ve been dating someone you find incredibly attractive in all ways, only to have them disappear after a few dates. I mean, 9 times out of 10, you’ll be left wondering whether it was actually real – whether you dreamed the whole charade – but you didn’t, and that’s the cruel reality of ghosting. Of course, the natural instinct is to assume that if you get ghosted once, chances are you’ll get ghosted again, and again, and again, so why on EARTH should we trust people, emotionally invest or take anyone’s word for golden?Unfortunately, it didn’t take me long to realise that things weren’t going to go as smoothly as I had expected.I turned to my smartphone as soon as I arrived in Berlin, to make sure I wouldn’t lose too much time out of the game.If you choose to be a ghoster, rather than ghosted, for the love of God, stop.
First, he was the one that loaded my brother and I on a plane to Las Vegas first class for a week after my mom died.It’s been over six months now and I still haven’t won the game. And here’s tip number 1: don’t get indignant if you hear that the Berlin dating scene is insane. If you haven’t been greeted by a guy opening his apartment door with his balls hanging out, and a cock ring dangling between them, then how can you be sure that you’ve really lived? I’ve gone from almost falling in love upon first meeting a guy to having blind sex dates with people I met through Ok Cupid and knew nothing about.Not necessarily because of Berlin, but because I had just got out of a four year relationship which had repressed what I would describe as mild nymphomaniac tendencies. I always make the guys wear condoms, I haven’t got pregnant yet and I’ve experienced my fair share of crazy stories. Each time you meet up with someone in which you have a significant romantic interest, you make a great effort to build on the bond between the both of you that you feel is becoming stronger.
Ghosting can, and will remain to be, pretty devastating.I figured Tinder would be my best bet, as I didn’t have enough acquaintances or work colleagues to allow me to meet boys through friends.