Funny internet dating lines


12-Mar-2020 08:30

You may now see our list and photos of women who are in your area and meet your preferences.

Again, please keep their identity a secret Click on the "Continue" button search with your zip/postal code.

I’d definitely notice if you went missing, on account of your nice boobs.

– Sometimes I feel like I could go missing for weeks before anyone even noticed.

Like why is there a 'D' in 'fridge' but no 'D' in 'refrigerator'?

" "Sorry, the position for Spanish teacher has been filled. " "Sunday priorities: Netflix, Exercise, or Bottomless Mimosas? 'Cuz I might let you join my gang." "Sorry it took me so long to message you, I was at Whole Foods trying to figure out what you like for breakfast." "Are you a middle eastern dictator?

" "If I were a watermelon, would you spit or swallow my seeds?

What I'm looking for at the moment is a bedroom acrobatic teacher." "Maybe you can help me. Because you’re causing a political uprising in my pants" "Do you work at build-a-bear?

I forgot the password to my account, and when I hit 'password hint,' it keeps telling me 'Jessica’s phone number.'" "Do you have a personality as attractive as your eyes? Because I’d stuff you." "If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber." "You're so gorgeous that you made me forget my good pickup line." "Are you the SAT?

But while you may be a boring dolt who is a complete drain on society, I’m a creative genius, and have perfected the art of openers. – Just enrolled for health insurance via Obamacare. PHILOSOPHICAL OPENERS: – Sometimes I question why God allows bad things to happen to good people. – Fuck, Marry, Kill: Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Dostoyevsky? Let’s cut to the chase—call me an insensitive, self-involved, immature asshole and break up with me. Been playing with my nephew and his new puppy in a flower patch all day while helping to feed the homeless. – Guess who’s no longer on his parents cell phone bill…?

Today, on this blog, I am giving away 42 openers to all of you…COMPLETELY FREE OF CHARGE. – If the technology existed, do you think it would be ethical for scientists to clone you? AGGRESSIVE OPENERS: – Ya know what the difference is between you and an angel? – I’ve thought it over, and I’m okay with you keeping our yet-to-be-conceived baby.

Instead of playing it cool, they’ve gone all out to create funny profiles that lay everything on the table.



These questions can also spice up conversations with someone you have been dating for a while, to give additional insight into their personality, background, and preferences.… continue reading »


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