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03-Apr-2020 08:31

" It's because, guys from Newcastle are sexually childish, always comparing how big their dicks are or measuring how long the sex lasted. Deepest insecurity: Not pulling or having a penis that doesn't measure up and everyone finding out.What they wear: Unheard of sports brands, with names like “11 degrees". Celeb inspiration: Aaron or Gaz from Geordie Shore.So, we present to you the United Kingdom of Fuckboys, in fact file form: ask if he can give you a kiss at the most awkward time during a date.You're at the restaurant, the mains have just arrived and then he'll randomly go "give me a kiss then." Bleurgh.Although fuckboys have now become a universal phenomenon, there are differences in how they'll fuck you over, from one area to another.The fine women of our country deserve better and we're here to do them a service.

What they do on the weekend: Play rugby, go to watch the rugby, talk about rugby. What they wear: Quilted jackets, cream Ralph Lauren pullovers, wayfarers and wellies.

Celeb inspiration: King Krule How he will fuck you over: He'll want to try being in an “open relationship" when he's too wet to tell you he doesn't like you anymore.

Favourite sex position: Goes down on you, but gets nowhere.

They also play a useless instrument like the ukulele.

Deepest insecurity: Being enticed into a debate about gentrification, because then they have to pretend they care about it.Anywhere you go there are fuckboys waiting to ruin your life.