Say contacting someone online dating
“You want to keep the texting light, playful and short-lived before the first date,” Hoffman tells Elite Daily. Because texting creates a false sense of intimacy that may lead to oversharing, since “when you are getting to know someone over text, you inevitably end up sharing things that you would never say face-to-face.”In my experience, the longer you draw out the pre-texting, the less likely you actually end up connecting in real life.But as online dating expert Julie Spira explains, it can often just be because online dating is a numbers game.To help figure out what the "right" amount of time to text is before going on a date, I reached out to online dating experts.They explain why the timeline between digital and real life contact may be shorter than you think, and how to know when and if you're ready to take that next step. When it comes to making the move from digital chat to real-life chat, my tactic was always to move slowly and really get to know the person well before moving on to setting up an actual date.“You can’t get to know someone solely and in a meaningful way over texting,” she says.So, instead of trying to learn the person's life story, she advises, “Keep the texting as a flirting tool to send a good morning or good night text, but not in place of meeting on a date, where the physical chemistry and conversation can allow the heart to open up to the possibilities of forming a relationship.”For Hoffman, it’s even more simple.Oftentimes, what would happen was either the conversation would dry up or, when we did finally meet up in person, there was an inevitable letdown. Turns out, that’s because I was doing it all wrong.
That being said, you should do some pre-date texting to check for deal-breakers, and more importantly, for safety reasons.So, the question is, how long to text before having a first date is the right amount of time?